Dying For The One You Love
by The Girl In The Red Dress
Summary: Bella is distraught after Edward leaves claiming not to Love her. Little does Edward know, Bella was in fact safer with him around.
1. Act Of Love

Should I have seen this coming? My body felt lifeless as I let myself sink, crushing the autumn leaves as I sank. He was gone. A numbness suffocating my heart soon to be followed by pain took over. I must have been standing in the woods, staring at the spot where he vanished, for some time before I realised he wasn't coming back.

As I stared off into the distance not really seeing anything, I replayed everything that was said in my head. I should have known I couldn't hold onto him. I never understood what he saw in me… when he could have anyone. Now I know I wasn't good enough. No wonder he was so against changing me, he couldn't bare to have me around forever. Burying my head in my arms in an attempt to block out what was happening I didn't realise I was no longer alone.

I heard the faintest sound of movement beside me. I raised my head, my eyes blurry and my face still damp with tears, but could see no one. At first I thought my longing for Edward to come back was playing with my imagination, and then I heard it again. Slowly I dragged myself off the ground and started walking in the direction I thought was the way home. The further I walked I noticed I seemed to be getting deeper and deeper into the thick woods. I was just beginning to relax a little again when a thud from behind some trees up ahead stopped me in my tracks.

"Edward?" I waited but no reply. I edged forward a little, trying to get a better look.

I heard a whisper in my ear "Edwards not here."

Startled I spun around and came face to face with Victoria. Her eyes were burning and her red hair blew viciously in the wind as she stared right through me. I felt frozen where I stood knowing I couldn't defend myself, one of the many flaws of being merely human. Part of me didn't care what was going to happen to me, Edward would be long gone by now and I could have peace knowing that he would never know about this and he would be ok…wherever he was.

"SO, It's just you and me" She inhaled deeply a slow smile creeping onto her face.

"Your boys being careless leaving you out here all by yourself, but then again he was careless when he killed my James. He should have known I would come back for you. We'll see how he likes to loose the one he loves." Victoria's eyes were fiercer now as she moved a little closer to me.

"Edward and I aren't together anymore, he won't care if you kill me or not."

My voice breaking as I spoke. I felt my heart heavy, saying these words out loud made everything so much more real. Maybe dying now wouldn't be such a bad thing; the pain of Edward leaving me would probably kill me anyway. At least this way it would be over quickly.

"And he didn't have the sense to turn you before he up and left? It's a shame really, as a vampire you might have stood a chance or at least lasted that little bit longer. I know it would have made me killing you so much more interesting."

Victoria's eyes covered every inch of me as she moved closer. A maniacal smile spread across her face.

"Enough talking, lets play!"

Before I had time to think, in one swift movement Victoria grabbed me by my arm. I saw no point in struggling, I would probably only hurt myself more trying to resist her. But why didn't she just kill me where I stood? She didn't seem like the type who'd want to cover her tracks and wasn't the whole point of killing me, that Edward would find out? I felt my arm bruising under her tight grasp as she dragged me through the woods, my feet barely touching the ground. We had only been moving for what seemed like minutes when she began to slower her pace. Seconds later, I realised where I was, I recognised it immediately. Victoria had brought me back to where she had first set eyes on me. I would never forget this place or the feeling I had when I knew James would stop at nothing until he killed me and how scared I felt knowing Edward would put himself in danger to protect me. If I had known what was going to happen the day I played Baseball with Edwards's family, would I have changed it? Would I have given up the time I spent with Edward instead of whatever was going to happen to me now? No. No matter what happens to me right now, I will always have that.

"Symbolic, don't you think?" Victoria hissed, cutting into my thoughts. "After all, this is where you should have died first time round" In a heartbeat her hand was wrapped around my neck. I felt my breathing weaken at her grip. Using what little air I had I screamed "Do it, whatever it is you're planning, just do it!"

I felt myself land, the ground gracing my skin, she hadn't thrown me far, just enough to hurt me.

"Why do you care that James is dead?" I saw her eyes twitch at the mention of his name. She seemed surprised by my sudden outburst, leaning over me tilting her head from side to side, like a Lion sizing up its prey. I didn't give her time to answer, steadying my voice I continued "He was supposed to be such a great tracker; he didn't even know we were tricking him from the beginning, kind of pathetic if you ask me"

"Don't you even say his name; you know nothing of real vampires!" Victoria growled, dragging me to my feet.

Her reaction was all I needed to know that James was her weakness, just as Edward was mine. Knowing that, I understood that if I provoked her enough she would loose her temper and just kill me… instead of…playing with her food.

"I might not know a lot but I know enough, Vampires like you and James will always be nothing more than killers, animals with no feelings whatsoever. James didn't love you, he …" She didn't let me finish, she has heard enough. Her growl was low like thunder as she pounced on me.

As my body hit the ground, I felt a second blow to the back of my head. I waited for Victoria to land on me but it didn't happen. I tried to sit myself up but my head was spinning and I could hardly see in front of me. As I moved I felt a trickle of warmth running down the side of my face. I was bleeding; I must have hit my head on something when I fell. The sight of the blood made me more light-headed as I struggled to keep my eyes open. Somewhere in the distance I could see movement, two shadows moving too fast for me to keep up. Then there was darkness.


	2. Strong Enough

Everyone wonders what it's like to die, was this it? I felt myself trying to open my eyes, nothing but darkness. I started to panic, how stupid I had been to provoke Victoria. What was happening to me? Where was Victoria now? My mind raced with possibilities. What if Victoria decided to go after Edward now that she was done with me? He wouldn't be expecting it, but surely Alice would see it coming. Alice hadn't seen Victoria following me in the woods or else Edward would never have left me there. Maybe Victoria… My thoughts were interrupted by a loud thudding noise; the more I panicked the louder and faster the noise became. It was my heart, it was beating so fast the sound was deafening. I was still alive.

Slowly, my last few moments of consciousness came back to me. I remember being thrown by Victoria and hitting my head on something. My heartbeat sped up again as I remembered the last thing I had seen before blacking out. Victoria wasn't alone. Just at that moment I heard movement beside me. My heart raced.

"Bella, it's going to be alright. You're safe now" his voice was soft and gentle but not who I was hoping for. It was Carlisle, as grateful as I was to have him there I couldn't help but wish it was Edward instead.

"I told Edward she was safer with him, than without. Why does he have to be so stubborn?" Alice was here too, her voice sounding harsh which I would never have thought possible for Alice.

"It's his decision Alice, he thinks he doing what's best for Bella." Carlisle remaining as neutral as ever.

"He's not going to hurt her; I wish he would trust my vision" Alice sounded disappointed.

"Now you get Bella back home and into her bed before Chief Swan finds out what's going on. Her state is only temporary and should ware off in an hour or so, her head should be fine, she only needed a few stitches. We're all meeting back at home" Carlisle made very little sound as he went on his way.

Listening to them talk about Edward made by heart sore, I allowed myself to sink back into the misery I had felt before Victoria decided to try and kill me.

Alice must have been carrying me home by now, I still couldn't feel anything. I trusted Carlisle's judgement fully so I knew feeling would return to my body soon. The time until that happened was going to be very long, with only my thoughts to keep me company. From what I could gather from Alice and Carlisle's conversation, the plan was to leave me in my bed so Charlie would just think I'm sleeping, knowing I would be fine when I came around.

"That's you home safe Bella, you take care when you wake up" Alice whispered giving me a kiss on the forehead, all too much like a farewell. If it wasn't for the sound of her lips against my skin I would never have known. I wanted her to stay; I wanted her to be there when I woke up. I had so many questions I needed answered and I desperately wanted to know that Edward was safe. I waited in the silence, hoping to hear some kind of movement but she was gone. I suddenly felt very much alone.

Charlie came in to check on me a couple of times as he usually did. He didn't seem to notice anything unusual which was a relief, the last thing I needed was to come up with another story. I was starting to feel frustrated, the minutes passed by like hours and I was starting to give myself a headache. My thoughts drifted back to Edward, his perfect features, his face was so clear in my mind it could easily have been a photograph. I imagined his voice, soft, gentle…

"This is all my fault, I'm so sorry Bella." His voice was tainted with sadness.

My heart sped. I would never allow Edward to blame himself, Imaginary or real, in my dreams of Edward he was never sad.

"I should have gone after Victoria as soon as James was out of the picture, I could have prevented this, I should have seem it coming" He hissed, his voice full of anger.

My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. Edward was here, standing right beside me, blaming himself and there was nothing I could do.

"If I'd only had the strength to stay away from you, none of this would have happened. I'm going to make sure nothing like this can ever happen again." His tone was serious.

Sadly I was already familiar with that tone, I had heard it the last time I saw him, and I knew what it meant. He was leaving me again. When I lost Edward earlier today I thought I would never feel worse than that. I was wrong, this was worse. Having him right here and not being able to tell him he's wrong to leave again. Ever since I found out about Edwards ability to read people's minds, this was the only time I'd wished he could read me like he could everyone else.

Silence filled the air but if I listened really hard I could hear Edward pacing back and forth. My heart missed a beat when the pacing stopped leaving no way for me to know if he was still here. The silence was deafening.

"Goodbye Bella." His words broke through the silence. "This is your chance to have a normal life; I'm doing this for you even if you don't see it now. I wish I _could_ give you everything, be everything that you need me to be but I can never be that. This is the one thing I _can_ give you…I just have to be strong…I need to leave, for you."

My mind was racing with thoughts, all of them screaming at him not to leave. I had to try and snap out of whatever state I was in. I concentrated as hard as I could, but nothing, I still couldn't move. The more frustrated I got the angrier I became. I concentrated so hard on the words I was thinking in a hope they would reach my lips. 'Please don't leave'. I said them over and over again until my head felt like it was going to explode but I didn't care.

'Please don't leave' 'Please don't leave' 'Please don't leave'.

"Bella?" Edward asked sounding confused.

My head was so filled with my own voice I couldn't be sure if I had managed sound. I almost didn't hear him I was concentrating so hard. Had he heard me?


	3. The Shield

My anger must have got the better of me, I was going crazy. I could have sworn I just heard Bella, her voice nothing more than a faint whisper. I gazed down at her lying on her bed, helpless and broken…because of me. Anger rose up in me again; it was hard for me to stay focused. I fought against every instinct I had not to go after Victoria and make sure she would never be a danger to Bella again. Trying to regain some calm I reassured myself, I trusted that the others would take care of Victoria. I needed to be here and make sure Bella was ok. Knowing I had to leave her again wasn't worth thinking about but I had made up my mind and knew it was for the best. How selfish I had become, so much so that I was imagining Bella asking me not to go. I am the worlds worst predator, almost indestructible yet Bella brought out a weakness in me. I didn't have the strength to stay away from her and now look what's happened. I felt disgusted with myself when I thought about how I'd put Bella in danger, the one thing I had been trying so hard not to do. Feeling anger rise inside me I began to pace again. If only I'd had the strength to be the man she needed me to be, how loosely I use the word man, monster is more suitable. In the so many years since Carlisle made me what I am Bella has been the only one who makes me feel alive again, she choose not to see me as a monster and I love her for that but at the same time I wish she would understand how dangerous I am and how dangerous my world is. How could someone so fragile not fear me let alone fall in love with me?

My thoughts, one after the other were beginning to get to me and I knew part of me was just putting off what I had to do next. I had said goodbye, what was I waiting for? Carlisle told me she wouldn't wake up for hours. It was time, I knew if I didn't leave now and she woke up and I saw her looking back at me I wouldn't have the strength to walk away again. I had to do this now…for her.

As I gazed down at Bella's face convincing myself that this was for the best. My eyes drifted over every inch of her face, I wanted to remember ever feature. It's all of Bella I could take with me and I would never forget. As I leaned over to kiss her goodbye something caught my eye. Running slowly down her cheek was a single tear.

"Edward, Please don't leave me" her voice was small and sounded distant , I froze and listened, concentrating harder than I ever had before. "Don't leave, Edward please" I heard her again, it was definitely Bella and I wasn't imagining it, it was really her, but how?

"Bella, I can hear you, I'm here" I tried to stay focused even though I had so many questions about what was happening. I could hear Bella yet she made no sound, this wasn't possible. I'd tried so many times before to read Bella's mind and nothing. How was she doing this now?

"Edward, promise me you will stay, I can't loose you again, I have so much I want to say to you, please stay, promise me, please, at least until I'm back to normal?" Her voice pleaded with me and I couldn't have said no to anything she asked of me at this moment.

"I promise" I spoke softly remembering Charlie was sitting downstairs. Gently I kissed her cheek where the tear had been. I could taste it on my lips. Like everything else about Bella it intoxicated me.

"Don't worry Bella, I will be here when you wake up"

As soon as the words left my mouth I felt happy shortly followed by a sadness. Every inch of me wanted to be with Bella , always, but I was saddened by the reminder that no matter how much I wanted her I should be _man_ enough to do what was right for her.

"I don't know what I'll do if you leave me again. I need you to stay…"

"Shhh Bella, shhh, Its alright I'm not going anywhere. I will be here. I promise. Try to get some sleep now and when you wake up everything will be just as it should be"

It went silent, I couldn't hear her anymore. I lay down beside her cradling her in my arms, gently I traced the shape of her face with my fingers. How beautiful she was but oh so fragile. If I was to forget my strength for a split second…it wasn't worth thinking about. I withdrew my hand from her face but my eyes never left her. I could never tire of watching Bella, she fascinated me, everything about her made me want more. In all my years I have never met anyone quite like her. I remember Carlisle telling me about the effect Esme had on him and I never thought for one second I would find anything close to what they have…I was wrong. Being a vampire not a lot surprises you, you can hear things coming from miles away, have perfect vision, move faster than anyone else and on top of that I can hear peoples thoughts. There's not a lot that you don't see coming, especially with Alice around, but Bella was different. When you've lived as long as I have you stop expecting things to change, Bella not only changed my world, she has become my world.

With Bella asleep my mind began to wonder, what could have caused the change that I could now hear Bella's thoughts? Could hitting her head have caused some kind of reaction? Whatever had happened, I was anxious to see if it would still be present when Bella came around. Not that I think she would be too happy about me being able to invade her mind, I think she quite likes her thoughts to herself and as much as it frustrated me in the beginning I think I like it too. I feel satisfied when I know what she's thinking just from her expression or know how she's going to react without her thoughts telling me first. Still gazing at her I felt a smile slowly stretch across my face as I thought out loud ' What a fragile, complicated human I've fallen in Love with'.


	4. Changes

My eyelids felt heavy as I slowly tried to open my eyes. It took a couple of attempts before I could open them fully, when I did I was forced to shut them again as daylight had filled my bedroom, everything seemed so bright. Feeling had finally returned to my body and it wasn't alone, my head ached instantly as soon as my eyes had opened, along with every other muscle in my body.

"Bella, You're awake" Hearing his voice brought such comfort to me, I never thought I would hear it again. He had stayed, just like he promised. I looked up at him, his eyes met mine.

"You stayed" I barely managed the words, It was all too much for me, before I could stop myself tears began flowing.

"Bella, It's ok. Everything is going to be ok" Edward's voice full of concern as he pulled me closer to him to comfort me.

"I thought I'd lost you" I sobbed "Part of me still feels like I have, I can't believe you're really here"

"I never wanted to hurt you Bella, I just couldn't see any other way to protect you from my world and the only way I was to not make you a part of it any more, but look how that turned out." his face was serious but his eyes were soft, He turned his head away. I knew he blamed himself for what happened with Victoria.

"Edward, Look at me…" gently with my hand I brought his face back to mine "I'm fine, what happened with Victoria wasn't your fault and I'll get over it"

"But if I…"

Before he could finish my lips were on his, I could feel a smile cross his face as he kissed me back before easing away. I suddenly felt embarrassed for being so full on knowing how hard it is for him. Also I became very aware that my breath wasn't the freshest after a day of non movement. I crawled off my bed and looked around my room for a change of clothes. I could feel his eyes watching me. I glanced over to him.

"I'm going to get changed, will you still be here when I come back?" I asked

"I'm not going anywhere Bella" Edward said with a smile

After a very brief but refreshing shower I hurried back to my room. I took a deep breath before entering as I half expected Edward to be gone. As I walked in and saw him just where I had left him, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I wondered how long it would be before I stopped thinking he would just leave again. My thoughts must have shown on my face because Edward looked concerned when I entered.

"I think we should pay Carlisle a visit today, I want to find out the details of what happened to Victoria, make sure she's gone for good" his face hardening at the mention of Victoria's name.

"Ok, I'm good with that, there's something I want to discuss with Carlisle anyway" I said

Edward looked at me expecting me to elaborate.

"So are we ready to go?" I asked changing the subject

"I am if you are?" he said still staring at me as if trying to read my mind.

I grabbed my jacket and turned to face the door

"Ok, lets go." I said

In the car on the way, Edward never spoke, nor did I. he occasionally glanced over at me with an almost concerned look on his face. I tried to remain focused, I had made my choice. If what happened with Victoria had taught me anything, it was that I couldn't remain human. I was too breakable to live in Edwards world, I wanted to be with him forever and not just a lifetime forever. I couldn't bare the thought of me getting older and older every day, slowly dying and Edward never changing. How could that possibly work? It wouldn't. I knew what I wanted, now all I had to do was convince Carlisle.

We arrived at the house, everyone except Alice was in the sitting room. Conversation stopped when we entered.

"How are you Bella?" Carlisle asked concerned

"I'm fine, a little sore but nothing too bad" I answered

Edward offered me a seat but I refused I felt nervous about what I was about to do. I knew Edward would never approve and would probably be furious at the suggestion but I didn't care.

"What happened with Victoria? Is she gone?" Edward asked his voice hard

" We chased her through the woods and had her cornered on a cliff near the river but she jumped ship" explained Emmett "we trailed her down stream right out of town"

"But she's still alive! Bella could still be at risk. Until she dead she's still a threat" As Edward spoke I could see his grip tighten around the chair he was leaning on. Tighter and tighter until the frame shattered beneath him. I couldn't' stand it anymore.

"Carlisle I want you to change me!" I shouted. It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen but the words just left my mouth. All eyes in the room turned to me but the only eyes I met were Edwards. His stare was cold, as if he were looking right through me. Although his eyes said a thousand things he said nothing. I turned to Carlisle.

"I want to become a vampire, all of this wouldn't be happening if I was like all of you. Alice said she saw it, its going to happen sooner or later so I'm voting for sooner."

"Bella are you sure you know…" Carlisle began but was cut off by Edward.

"I want to talk to Bella alone for minute" interrupted Edward

The others got up and left, Rosalie was the last to leave. Her eyes remained on me, slowly she moved towards me.

"If I had been given the choice, I'd have stayed human." she said angrily as she strutted past me. Just as Edward looked like he was going to say something Alice entered the room. She headed straight for me and gave me a hug

"I knew you would be alright" she said as she released me.

I smiled, I really liked Alice. Somehow I felt like I'd know her forever. "Alice could you give Bella and I a moment alone" "Oh, yeah sure." She smiled, glanced at me then at Edward and turned to leave. Without turning she added "Some things have already been decided" and she was gone.

After Alice left Edward motioned for me to sit beside him. I sat down next to him as he turned to face me.

"Bella," He spoke Calmly "I don't think you know what your asking, you might think you want this but nothings ever the same. You'll be different, unable to see your friends, your family"

"I know what I want Edward, I want to be with you. Forever. Don't you want us to be together?" I asked my eyes meeting his

"We are together, I'll always be with you"

"No you wont! I'm getting older every day and before you know it I'll be, I'll be…" I couldn't finish the sentence, I couldn't understand how he couldn't see this would be best for us. He was looking down now, as if something I said struck a nerve. His eyes met mine again and he took my hand.

"Give me a year" He said his expression softening

"A year?" I asked confused

"Yes, a year just to get school over with and give you some more time to really think about this Bella. I know you say you want this but I need to be sure. I couldn't handle it if you ever regretted it. There's no going back once its done its done. So give me a year and if this is still what you want then I will do it myself."

I stared at him two emotions rising at once. One was disbelieve that he had agreed to change me himself, the other was satisfaction. I was getting what I wanted and a year wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Done." I said holding my hand out waiting for him to shake on it.

"Done" he said grinning as he leaned in and kissed me softly.


End file.
